A Christmas Miracle!

It's only 3 days  until Christmas, and I have been a busy little bee. Between work, holiday shopping, decorating and merry-making, there hasn't been much time for molding!

But I did squeeze in a festive little gem for you just in time for Christmas!

And here's the thing: IT IS ACTUALLY EDIBLE AND NOT DISGUSTING!!!

Merry Christmas, my friends! Feast your eyes on my "Red and Green Gelatin Salad" from Taste of Home magazine...

There is nothing quite like a Pyrex pitcher filled
with lime jello and crushed pineapple.
Am I right?

Add some happy marshmallows and top with the second layer
of cherry jello + cherries

Yes - this is called a "salad" for some reason.

So fancy!

THE VERDICT: Festive and Fabulous!

Well - I sure hope you enjoyed this molded marvel, because I have some pretty scary surprises up my sleeve for the new year.

You have been warned.

Jiggly Holidays!

I don't know about you, but I am in full-blown Holiday mode. Thanksgiving just passed and Christmas is right around the corner, so I am plotting my festive gelatinized dishes!

There are SO MANY to choose from!

And why shouldn't there be? A gelatine mold is the PERFECT food for any holiday party. It's colorful, versatile and convenient! Any good homemaker knows that jello molds are great for entertaining. They can be made ahead of time, then unmolded and proudly displayed when your guests arrive. No muss, no fuss!

Also - jello molds are a great way to impress your friends and/or make them jealous. What could be better than a triple-layer multi-colored molded masterpiece sitting in the middle of your buffet? Nothing. That's what. And your guests will have no choice but to stand there in awe of your amazing creation. They might even clap.

Just look at this and tell me you don't agree:

What a Show Off

Having said all that, let's take a look at my very own holiday-themed gelatine project for week #1 of December....

According to my "Knox on Camera Cookbook", the Cranberry Souffle Salad is a fit companion for holiday turkey, chicken or ham. It is colorful, festive and has chopped nuts. And mayonnaise. So not only is it creamy, but it is also crunchy. Ummm...

That's right - This recipe involves cranberry sauce, pineapple tidbits and a hearty serving of mayo and chopped walnuts. But before placing all of the ingredients into the mold, we get to beat the gelatine and mayonnaise together until "frothy". Let me tell you, if you ever get the chance to take a sniff of this combo - don't. Just no. The smell will never leave you. It will haunt your dreams.

OK - so here are some action shots as it all came together...

I love this moment just before unmolding!

Extreme Close-Up

More like "No, No, No", am I right?? LOL

Well...What do you think? Would you ever serve this at your next holiday gathering? What do you think your friends and family would do? Would your guests enjoy it or would they stage an intervention and have you committed? Do tell...

Obligatory pre-taste shot with Oakley staring awkwardly at it

THE VERDICT: Not as bad as you would imagine. You really can't taste the mayo, and the balance of sweet & savory is sorta interesting. The crunchiness of the walnut is a bit unsettling, so I would leave it out. Otherwise - I say thumbs up to the Cranberry Souffle for your holiday table!

Salad Toppers

This week, I decided to mix things up a little.  Instead of making a full-blown molded jell-o salad, I made some tangy Knox blocks to spice up my boring greens.

In case you didn't know - I am a big fan of salad toppers. Huuuuge fan. My all-time favorite was Jean's Butterfly Salad Toppers from the 1972 Weight Watchers Program Cookbook. Go check them out!

I truly believe no salad should be boring. Ever. In fact, I have a tattoo on my bicep that says "No Boring Salads, Ever!!"

Just kidding, I would never do that! I'm not that wacky.

Anyway, Barbecue Knox blocks are a great way to add some flair to your sad, boring salad. These little cuties are courtesy of "The Joys of Jell-O" cookbook, and they are as easy as pie! Just dissolve your Knox in some tomato sauce and add some onion juice, Worcestershire sauce and a pinch of tabasco. Pour into a square pan and cut into cubes when solid.

Seriously...Look how cute they are!!!

So shiny too!!

But how do they taste??

THE VERDICT: They taste EXACTLY how you would expect them to taste. Like cold, gelatinous tomato soup on top of a salad. They also add a very disturbing and unexpected texture to the salad. Like the opposite of a crouton. But overall, I have eaten worse things - so I guess they were not too bad.

What is YOUR favorite way to top a salad?? Do tell....

Mousse Madness

Allow me to start off this post by saying that I loooooooooove cottage cheese. Always have. Always will.

But when you combine Cottage Cheese with Knox Gelatine - well, that's another story my friends.

This week's salad adventure is from the "Creative Cooking with Cottage Cheese" cookbook. I am guessing mid-1960's although the copyright date is not printed anywhere. How annoying.

Anyway, my "Cottage Tuna Mousse" salad started out innocently enough. I assembled some chopped veggies, some pimento-stuffed olives, and a can of tuna...

But - It was when I started putting together my gelatin mixture that things got a little ugly. You see, when you combine tomato juice, cottage cheese and sour cream with a packet of Knox gelatin and then suspend your other ingredients all up in there...well let's just say it ain't pretty.

In fact it might scare you a little.

Here is a view of the underbelly

But after chilling it for a few hours and unmolding it onto some salad greens, it literally becomes a thing of beauty...

Breathtaking, isn't it?

Try this angle on for size

Surprise!! Sometimes a jello mold that starts out as an ugly duckling might just turn out to be a swan! A beautiful, stinky, shiny, gelatinous swan.

As for the flavor, well that remains to be seen. So let's slice off a big ol' slab and find out...

FYI - It jiggles and smells really bad

THE VERDICT: Well I'll be honest, at first I was horrified to put this in my mouth. The texture and color were a bit off-putting to say the least. But once I talked myself into taking a bite, it really wasn't too bad. I could definitely taste the cottage cheese. And the tuna. And the olives. But you know what? It was a pretty good combo! Thus proving once again, cottage cheese makes EVERYTHING better!

My Madrilene Has Issues

Three cheers for Google! 

According to my research, the term "Madrilene" refers to any consommé flavored with tomato, frequently jelled and served cold. 

Yum?

This week's salad adventure is from the Weight Watchers Recipe Card Collection (1974) The Madrilene Cheese Salad is a multi-layered jello mold which is a bit tricky because the middle layer is not jello at all - its just a big slab of cottage cheese that you run through the blender with some seasoning. Needless to say, this salad has issues and is quite unstable.

The good news is that it serves 2 - so you can chow down half of this sucker even if you are watching your waistline.

Hooray?

Not My Best, Not My Worst Either

Zoom In

I had high hopes for this one. But I just couldn't keep it together. I can usually keep my jello molds pretty tight, but the layers kept slipping and I felt like at any moment it would just melt. To be honest, it was kind of a sloppy mess. I even added some cucumbers for structural support. And for decorative flair, too.

I opted for a smaller portion

THE VERDICT: It was pretty darn tasty...creamy and refreshing! In fact - the cottage cheese layer would work as a veggie dip for your next party. Just leave out the Madrilene...

We Got the Beet

Some things just belong together. Like peanut butter and jelly, mashed potatoes and gravy or macaroni and cheese.

But rarely do you ever hear someone say, "We go together like Pineapple and Beets".

Until now!

This week's salad adventure comes from Better Homes and Gardens "So Good with Fruit" cookbook (1967), and it lives in the chapter entitled "Shimmery Molded Salads". (again - 3 words that should NOT go together, but I digress).

I was attracted to this salad because it seemed unique and daring. A can of crushed pineapple. A can of sliced beets. And a box of lemon jello. Ummm. How could I not?! Seriously!

This salad came together quite easily. The hardest part was remembering to reserve the juice from the canned items to be used as the liquid for the jello mixture. I got carried away and almost totally forgot!

But after 4-5 hours in the fridge, this baby popped right out of the mold and was indeed "shimmering"!

Shine little salad...

Glimmer, Glimmer

The recipe suggests we serve it with a horseradish-spiked mayonnaise. "Really?" - I said to myself with some trepidation. And then I quickly answered myself, "Oh, what the Hell! I'm feeling adventurous. We are already mixing pineapple and beets and lemon. Go ahead and add some horseradish for good measure."

So that's what happened...

Just so you know, I always cut myself a slice of each jello mold I make. I also always take at least one bite so that I can report the verdict here. Sometimes I stop at one or two bites because it is just too horrid or intense. Other times I eat the whole slice. It just depends...

I wrote a little message on top with mayo...
Can you see it?

VERDICT: This was a winner! I would have never believed this combo would work, but it did! Even the horseradish mayo was a yummy addition. I actually had FOUR BITES of this mold. And, believe me - that's saying a lot!

Beans, Mushrooms and Despair

When it comes to scary jellied salads, no one does it better than the Weight Watchers Recipe Cards from 1974. This retro recipe card collection contains a treasure trove of delightfully awful salads...Most of which are encased in gelatin for no apparent reason.

For this week's adventure, I selected the "Bean and Mushroom Salad". Here's the recipe in case you ever take leave of your senses, and would want to make this for yourself one day.

Yeah. It's really that gross. But that recipe card only tells part of the horror story.

First of all - when you go to the supermarket to get your ingredients, its like a really weird scavenger hunt as you try to find everything. Pimentos! Knox Unflavored Gelatin! Onion flakes! Canned mushrooms! Who in their right mind buys these things anymore?

Next - as you prepare this salad, it becomes apparent that you are entering some type of twilight zone for vegetables. Let's review: Go ahead and take a bunch of perfectly good vegetables and suspend them in a clear jellied form, oh and make sure you have combined them with a buttload of artificial sweetener and vinegar first. Then wait about 5 hours before you can even eat it.

It glistens...

It trembles...

It twitches...

Let me assure you, it tastes as bad as it looks.

Plus there is the added bonus that it sticks to your plate even when you turn it sideways and try to throw it in the garbage. It's like the salad that WILL NOT DIE.

You cannot get rid of this thing,
no matter how hard you try.

When I finally disposed of this salad catastrophe, the smell of vinegar still lingered in the air for hours. Just to remind me of what I had just done.

VERDICT: There is really no need for this salad to exist. Folks, take my advice...the next time you have a taste for green beans and mushrooms - crack open the cans, pour them in a bowl, heat them up and eat 'em!

The Agony of Defeat

I did some jello molding this week. And I'm not gonna lie - it wasn't pretty.

Just like any other artistic medium, sometimes your work turns out to be a cherished masterpiece and other times it turns out to be a total pile of garbage.

This week, I attempted 2 simple molded salads. They should have been a snap for a seasoned jello badass like me. But for some reason, the gelatine goddesses were not on my side.

My first mold attempt was the basic "Garden Patch Salad" from The Knox On-Camera Recipes cookbook... Or as I like to call it "The Bible of Gel Cookery".  Per the recipe instructions - I was told I could mix my vegetables with abandon here. Because they all contribute to the color and flavor of this jellied potpourri. Um... yeah.

Sadly - mine was less like jellied potpourri and more like jellied hot mess.

When good gelatine molds go bad...

Ew.

After that debacle, I decided to try a fun little Minted Pineapple salad from the "Joys of Jello" cookbook. For this one, you use the can from your pineapple tidbits as your mold. It contains lemon jello, canned pineapple and mint extract. Sounds adorable, right?

All went well on this one until I unmolded it, and half of the thing went droopy on me. Instead of popping out of the mold like a bouncy little spring, it just sort of fell onto the plate in a semi-gelled pile of yellow goo. It looked so pitiful, I wanted to hug it. But I didn't.

Where did it all go wrong? 

At least my dog, Oakley seems interested in it.

OK, so it is clear that I need to really sit down and analyze this gelling dilemma. Am I just rusty? Are my jello molds jinxed? Did the gelatine goddesses put a curse on me?

Stay tuned to find out...

The Joy of Gelatin

During these turbulent times in our world, it seems like more and more people are searching for a way to stay "present" and find "inner peace". Many of my friends have turned to yoga, meditation or breathing exercises as a way to become more relaxed and mindful.

Me? I encase food into gelatin molds and then release them to the world on my blog.

Gelatin Molding is my therapy.

Why? For one thing, there is no way to rush the process of gelatin molding. You MUST slow down. Chill out. That gelatin is not going anywhere. It just takes time. Hours and hours of time. So calm yourself down and relax.

This took 4 freaking hours

Also -- If you want to suspend something in gelatin, you must do it AT THE EXACT RIGHT MOMENT...Too soon, and it will just sink to the bottom of your mold and look stupid. Too late and your mold is gonna be too firm to add any ingredients to it. This means you are constantly checking and re-checking and triple-checking the gelatin's consistency. You must be ever-present with the gelatin. You must become one with the gelatin. If you let your mind wander even for a few minutes, you might miss the perfect moment of gelatinous consistency to allow you to gently suspend your ingredients into the mold.

Do you see how the lettuce is perfectly suspended in there?
Hell yes.

Finally, the anticipation is EVERYTHING. Its all about the journey. The excitement of waiting and waiting and waiting until the moment when you can un-mold your dish is a surefire mood enhancer. Furthermore, you never really know if it will turn out to be a culinary masterpiece or a total pile of gooey mess until you turn that sucker out. And that's OK. No really, it is.

Grab a slice for you and your little dog too!

My "Iceberg Ring" turned out pretty good, I think. Though I'm afraid I might be a little rusty - It has been 3 years since my last gelatin mold.

This one was pretty easy. It's just 3 cups of chopped lettuce floating in a ring of lime jello. I filled the center with tuna salad just like they suggest in Better Homes and Gardens "Eat and Stay Slim" cookbook (1968).

There now, don't you feel totally centered and ready to tackle your day? I know I do!

Now go get yourself some gelatin and suspend something in it! Namaste.

Guess Who's Back?

It's RETRO MIMI! 

Most of you probably know me from my other blog "The Retro Weight Watchers Experiment". You know the one where I tortured myself for FOUR FREAKING YEARS by cooking and eating recipes from the 1972 Weight Watchers program? Remember my blog post about Frankfurter Spectacular? That was fun. Or perhaps you recall my blog post about Fluffy Mackerel Pudding? Yeah that was horrifying.

Well, after a 3-year hiatus, I am embarking on a new culinary adventure:

One Retro Salad per week. 

Every week. 

FOREVER.

Ok Ok - I am only kidding about the forever part - LOL. But seriously,  I am not quite sure how or why this happened, but I just woke up one day this Summer and realized something very special has been missing from my life. And that thing was: GELATIN. Simple as that.

For some reason, folks in the 1960's and 1970's just LOVED to encase things in gelatin and call them "salads". Yes - it's creepy. Yes - it's kind of gross. But during my time as a Retro WW gal, I developed a fondness (read: obsession) for gel cookery and the art of suspending things in jello. It became a hobby for me - a creative outlet. Why you ask? Whatever. It's just my thing. I will explain more about that in an upcoming post.

So for now I will just say hello again, old friends! I hope those of you who liked the Retro WW Experiment will LOVE my new adventure: Once Upon a Salad.

I can't wait to get back in the kitchen and start turning your stomachs again! Woohoo! So stay tuned and please comment below to holler back at me. I would love to know if all my Retro gal pals are still out there!